Filed under: Random Thoughts
Tom: You know, if your husband ever cheated on you, I’d kill him.
Lauren: Awhhhh, Tom that’s so sweet-
Tom: -Yah, hopefully, I’ll be married to Edward Cullen at that point so I could use my vampire powers.
Filed under: Blog
Call me crazy, but I may have just figured out what I’m doing. Lesson of the day: Things will fall into place if you open your heart and just let it happen.
So, schools back, which means procrastination can begin =) I really don’t have much to update tonight since I’ve only been home for a week, but Tom said something funny that I just HAVE to share!
Tom (while googling for monologues): Funny….Gay….Monologues. Search.
Lauren: …Did you just google “funny gay monologues?”
Tom: Yah, I don’t have time to develop a character.
I really want to fill out this survey but I bitch about Facebook surveys way too much to make a note myself. So it’s under the cut. Holla.
Filed under: Legally Blonde
My blonde moments are endless… This one makes the top 5 for sure:
Daniel was driving and I was sitting shotgun. I wore my glasses today, and when I took them off the lights and everything looked SUPER awesome. So I said…
“Oh my God, I wish you could see what I’m seeing right now… Here- I’ll just take a picture.”
It’s amazing I’m in college, let alone passed 1st grade.
Filed under: Legally Blonde
I realized I have a shit ton of epic blonde moments… so I made a new category. SCHWINGGG!
A few blonde moments that occurred within the past few hours:
1.(45 minutes into the movie…) ”Oh my God, I get it! The title is Interview With A Vampire because he’s interviewing a vampire!”
2. “I love Milky Way candy bars… But I didn’t realize I liked them until after I ate one.”
3. “How much do you wanna bet when they make Twix bars, the chocolate is the last thing that goes on?”
Filed under: Failboat
Talking to Danny Ireland:
Me: “I met him in Geometry… but it was like, uh what was it called? High Geometry? Super Geometry?
Danny: “I really hope it was called Super Geometry.”
(4 phone calls and an hour later…)
Me: “OOOOH, HONORS GEOMETRY!”
Failboat.
So I think I figured out my problem.
When most girls bitch about guys, they’re all like “I’m always the friend never the girlfriend” blah blah blah blah blah. My problem? I’m the one guys call to set them up with someone.
See, those girls that bitch about “always being the friend” at least have the satisfaction of knowing one day the guy might open his eyes and see how “perfect they are together,” followed by an intense make out session in the rain.
Me? I’ve got nothing.
It’s alright though- I’ve already taken out all my anger on a carton of Ben and Jerry’s. For some reason, Ben and Jerry’s is the only ice cream brand that cures the boy blues. I’m assuming it’s because Ben and Jerry are both guy names, and I can pretend I’m replacing one guy with two. Two delicious guys, for that matter. You know what? Screw boys- I’m with Ben and Jerry.
On a lighter note, I’m currently watching House and contemplating going to bed. I can’t really move my limbs due to yoga this morning, so sleeping seems to be my only option.
Peace.
Filed under: Word of the Week
As Seen on Everybody Loves Raymond!
JEALASS (n.): A jealous ass.
