LaurenSays…

KRISSY RYBICKI IS A DOUCHEBAG.

the end =)

New blog post? Say whatttt?

Life has changed a lot since my last entry.

I feel like no one really reads this mass of bullshit anymore, so that makes this a little less of a blog and a little more of a journal. I’m okay with that.

I can’t figure out if I’ve hit a metaphorical plateau or an edge of a cliff in my life right now. All I know is I either have to climb upwards or close my eyes, hope for the best, and take a leap. Whatever. Lame metaphors aside, I feel something has to change. Don’t get me wrong- I am extremely happy with who I am and what I’m doing at this very second, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m satisfied. I have become a lot more self-aware this past month. A lot of that has to do with situations I have gone through that have made me grow up a bit too fast, but most of it has to do with the beautiful people I have been surrounding myself with. I’ve come to a point in my life where I want to be constantly challenged as a person. I want people in my life who know me and care about me enough to say, “Hey. You suck at this. Fix it.” Constructive criticism? Tough love? Whatever it’s called. I want that. The hard part about finding these people is it can be very easy to confuse a person who cares about you so much they want to tear you apart and help you rebuild yourself into a stronger, more complete soul with a person who cares about themselves so much they want to tear you apart to build themselves up. I’ve been around one too many versions of “that” person lately. It scares me I still can’t see through them from day one, or even week/month/year one.

Since this has been a popular subject of 90% of my previous blog posts, I thought I should just add I still have no idea what I’m doing with my life. HOWEVER, I’ve come to find a new appreciation for the fine arts and am without a single DOUBT certain that I need to do something that involves dance/music/theatre for the rest of my life. That doesn’t mean I want to preform. This might actually mean I never want to step foot on a stage as a performer again. I honestly don’t care to have it figured out right now. I’m doing this new thing where I’m accepting that where I am and what I’m doing is going to all make sense eventually. I hope.

Too much rambling.

I ended with this Jack Johnson lyric last post, but it seems fitting and appropriate for where I am right now. I also enjoy a good contrast of how a lyrics meaning can change in 5 months.

5 months. Fuck.

We can park the van and walk to town
Find the cheapest bottle of wine that we could find
And talk about the road behind
How getting lost is not a waste of time

I always say I’m going to update this more and then I don’t. Awesome.

Schools done. 2.99999. Suck it. Wisdom teeth are out. Drainage is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever witnessed. 2 days until I’m reunited with Zach. Schwing. Bored as shit. What else is new.

I think I might make a new video tomorrow. Uke cover of Walk Through Hell? It’s happening.

Alright. I’m sleepy. And I never have anything interesting to say. Damn.

Lyric for the road:

And now the feeling that I’m feeling, well it’s feeling like my life is finally mine.
With nothing to go back to we just continue to drive.
Without you I was broken,
But I’d rather be broke down with you by my side.

-LS

This weekend was… educational, for lack of a better word. I learned a little too much about myself and the people around me, but its a good thing to be snapped out of it every once in a while.

Wow. Uh. I don’t know why I felt the need to update this. I really don’t have anything to say… I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but I think I can honestly admit I’m happy with who I am, where I am, and the people I’m sharing this part of my life with.

That’s enough for now. A Jack Johnson lyric for the road:

We can park the van and walk to town
Find the cheapest bottle of wine that we could find
And talk about the road behind how getting lost is not a waste of time.

–LS

I apologize for my absence. I could go on and on with some bullshit excuses for why I haven’t been documenting every waking moment of my mildly amusing existence, but chances are I’d just be lying to you… and lying to a blog would indubitably be the lowest point of my life. So. With that being said, sorry I was too busy for you.

There. I said it.

Anyways. What I’m getting at is I’m going to start updating this more. I miss reading through these and remembering the exact moment/emotions/thought process that motivated a new entry. I need to start documenting my life again, but this time with a little more insight to the big picture instead of just a humorous anecdote here and there. Sorry in advance if this blog isn’t always a comic relief. I feel like I’ve reached that point in my relationships where the things I find to be hilarious end with me saying, “you had to be there” or “you have to know them like I do.”

That’s enough of that. I don’t have much on my mind tonight, surprisingly. I probably shouldn’t have waited until I was exhausted to write a new entry, but it is what it is.

Goodnight, world.

–LS