Filed under: Blog
New blog post? Say whatttt?
Life has changed a lot since my last entry.
I feel like no one really reads this mass of bullshit anymore, so that makes this a little less of a blog and a little more of a journal. I’m okay with that.
I can’t figure out if I’ve hit a metaphorical plateau or an edge of a cliff in my life right now. All I know is I either have to climb upwards or close my eyes, hope for the best, and take a leap. Whatever. Lame metaphors aside, I feel something has to change. Don’t get me wrong- I am extremely happy with who I am and what I’m doing at this very second, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m satisfied. I have become a lot more self-aware this past month. A lot of that has to do with situations I have gone through that have made me grow up a bit too fast, but most of it has to do with the beautiful people I have been surrounding myself with. I’ve come to a point in my life where I want to be constantly challenged as a person. I want people in my life who know me and care about me enough to say, “Hey. You suck at this. Fix it.” Constructive criticism? Tough love? Whatever it’s called. I want that. The hard part about finding these people is it can be very easy to confuse a person who cares about you so much they want to tear you apart and help you rebuild yourself into a stronger, more complete soul with a person who cares about themselves so much they want to tear you apart to build themselves up. I’ve been around one too many versions of “that” person lately. It scares me I still can’t see through them from day one, or even week/month/year one.
Since this has been a popular subject of 90% of my previous blog posts, I thought I should just add I still have no idea what I’m doing with my life. HOWEVER, I’ve come to find a new appreciation for the fine arts and am without a single DOUBT certain that I need to do something that involves dance/music/theatre for the rest of my life. That doesn’t mean I want to preform. This might actually mean I never want to step foot on a stage as a performer again. I honestly don’t care to have it figured out right now. I’m doing this new thing where I’m accepting that where I am and what I’m doing is going to all make sense eventually. I hope.
Too much rambling.
I ended with this Jack Johnson lyric last post, but it seems fitting and appropriate for where I am right now. I also enjoy a good contrast of how a lyrics meaning can change in 5 months.
5 months. Fuck.
We can park the van and walk to town
Find the cheapest bottle of wine that we could find
And talk about the road behind
How getting lost is not a waste of time
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