Filed under: Failboat
Talking to Danny Ireland:
Me: “I met him in Geometry… but it was like, uh what was it called? High Geometry? Super Geometry?
Danny: “I really hope it was called Super Geometry.”
(4 phone calls and an hour later…)
Me: “OOOOH, HONORS GEOMETRY!”
Failboat.
So I think I figured out my problem.
When most girls bitch about guys, they’re all like “I’m always the friend never the girlfriend” blah blah blah blah blah. My problem? I’m the one guys call to set them up with someone.
See, those girls that bitch about “always being the friend” at least have the satisfaction of knowing one day the guy might open his eyes and see how “perfect they are together,” followed by an intense make out session in the rain.
Me? I’ve got nothing.
It’s alright though- I’ve already taken out all my anger on a carton of Ben and Jerry’s. For some reason, Ben and Jerry’s is the only ice cream brand that cures the boy blues. I’m assuming it’s because Ben and Jerry are both guy names, and I can pretend I’m replacing one guy with two. Two delicious guys, for that matter. You know what? Screw boys- I’m with Ben and Jerry.
On a lighter note, I’m currently watching House and contemplating going to bed. I can’t really move my limbs due to yoga this morning, so sleeping seems to be my only option.
Peace.
Okay, this video deserves a backstory-
About a year ago, I started going to Capitol Coney Island in the wee hours of the morning with Kyle DeVoll and his posse. They always played this ridiculous game in which they would try to flip jelly on a spoon. Believe me, it is a lot harder than it looks. I have never been able to do it until tonight, and we just so happened to get one of my four successes (or possibly fails, depending how you look at it) on tape.
*Note- I conquered the Mixed Jelly, which is the hardest jelly to flip.
Yes, I am aware of how awesome I am. You don’t have to tell me twice.
Filed under: Failboat
My cable freezes from time to time, and for the last 6 minutes, it has been frozen on the image of foot shavings PedEgg has successfully removed. This is what I get for making fun of that commercial in my earlier entry… Karma is a bitch.
FAILBOAT.
I think I’m going to categorize this under failboat… It only seems appropriate.
kbye.
Filed under: Failboat
About to do a scratch-off…
Kyle (pulls out a bunch of coins): Okay, pick your poison.
Lauren: I want the dime. They’re my favorite.
Kyle: You sure you want that dime?
Lauren: …Yah.
Kyle: …Cus I’m pretty sure that’s a nickel.
Failboat.
Filed under: Failboat
I texted my mom today telling her about a teacher that likes me, and she responded with, “YAY! FINALLY SOMEONE LOVES YOU!”
Failboat.
Filed under: Failboat
So how about Courtney and I were walking to CFSU today, and we see a guy coming towards us. I looked at him, and then turned to Courtney and said, “Hey, isn’t that our stage manager for LUCDance Company?” Courtney confidently replied, “yes.” So I screamed, “HI STAGE MANAGER!” only to realize, it wasn’t our stage manager. It actually looked NOTHING like our stage manager, with the exception that our stage manager wears hats, and this guy had on a hat. I then proceeded to make a scene, hit Courtney, and then laugh until I started to cry.
Failboat.
[insert signature closing line here]
-Lauren
Filed under: Failboat
It is 2:25 am, and I just discovered I have been waltzing around with a huge hole in my pants all day. Where is this hole located, one may ask? Perfectly centered in the crotch region. I honestly think God uses me as his own personal form of entertainment. The best part is I told one of my friends about my pant-fail, and he said, “Oh yah. I noticed that earlier.”
Failboat.
[insert signature closing line here]
–Lauren
